Patty Crazy! Thai Fish Cakes – the secret is out

Frat Mustard, the voice of theQguides, is coming over on Sunday. I’m panicking. I need to make him something to eat!

I’ve realized that yes, I can cook, but my skills are limited to things I can ‘pat’ into shape, or things I can bake in the oven. And I’m not talking about cakes. Definitely not cakes, because that would involve following a recipe.

A small problem is that I never follow recipes, and therefore I can make a dish a million times and have a different result. Minor detail.

Ok – I’ll make my famous Thai Fish Cakes.


But do I use bread or crackers? Do I use tuna or salmon? Do I use one egg or two?

I’m gonna wing it. This is the ‘standard recipe’. Feel free to modify.

1 x can of tuna in olive oil OR 1 x can red or pink salmon

(of course, if you want to poach a fresh salmon/tuna fillet, make sure you do it in milk with a bay leaf)

 I’m gonna use two of everything, just cos I feel like it, but feel free to plus or minus amounts according to your taste.

2 x diced spring onions

2 x diced chilies

2 x chopped lemongrass

2 x chopped cloves of garlic

Some fresh coriander, roughly chopped

 And the secret ingredient…. Is…. drumroll please…. Bada bada bada bada…. Tom Yam Paste!

 Ok, so this is where it gets tricky. Chuck all those ingredients together, including the fish, and mash with your hands or a fork. Then, take 3 slices of gardenia (I like the taste, it’s a bit sweet but really you can use any bread), dip in cold water, and break it into the mixture. The older the bread, the better, because the more it crumbles. Add some breadcrumbs if you think it’s too soggy. Add 1 whole egg to bind.

 If you’re really ‘canggih’, you can chuck it all in a dry blender and blitz for a few seconds.

 Pat the mixture into little patties (this is my favourite part!) and put in the fridge for about an hour to set (or the freezer for 10 mins if you’re in a rush). Take out, smooth the surface again and shallow fry/ deep fry till golden brown. Chuck in the oven at 180 deg c for 5-10 mins (untill it starts sizzling from the inside) to ensure maximum crispness. A squeeze of lime, then enjoy piping hot and dipped in Thai Sweet Chilli Sauce.